The Joy of Passaic Park

My column is usually about travel, places I visit or helpful hints to make travel easier. I have been traveling and recently returned from two weeks in Portugal and two weeks in New Jersey.

I realize New Jersey is not one of my usual travel destinations, however, this trip was for a most auspicious event--I am now a grandmother. Sarah Bina Tzall was born on Sunday, October 5tth at 7:30 a.m. in Passaic Park, New Jersey. The proud parents, Heather and Rob Tzall are tired, but doing well.I decided that being a grandmother definitely gives me bragging rights, so this column is dedicated to Sarah Bina. Sarah is my first grandchild and is named after my mother, who died in 2006. Among Ashkenazi Jews, (Jews from Germany and Eastern Europe,) it is customary to name children after a deceased relative. This a way of honoring that person and keeping their memory alive. Naming a child is one of the most important decisions new parents make. The Talmud (Berachot 7b) teaches that a Hebrew name has an influence on its bearer. Hence, it is extremely important to name your children after individuals with positive character traits who have led fortunate lives and have helped bring goodness to the world. My mother died at age 89 and was a loving wife, mother and grandmother. Bina, her middle name, is a Hebrew name that means understanding, intelligence and wisdom.

Sarah was actually born a week early, which I appreciated since I was flying into New Jersey on October 6th on my way to Portugal. I got to see Sarah when she was less than 24 hours old and then spent two weeks with her on my way home. Sarah was only 6 lbs,1 oz. at birth and 21 inches long; tiny in comparison to her mother who was over 8 lbs. at birth.This was my first trip to Passaic Park since Heather and Rob moved (from Israel) this past June. Only 30 minutes from downtown Manhattan through the Lincoln Tunnel (20 minutes by train or express bus, ) Passaic Park is an old town with beautiful, large, wood frame houses, parks, and shopping centers nearby. It is also a town in transition with a growing, young observant community. There are several synagogues, religious schools, a kosher market and a kosher bakery within a half-mile of their home. It is a common sight to see women pushing strollers to and from the main shopping area or out and about on “Shabbat” (Sabbat begins on Friday evening at sundown and is over on Saturday evening at sundown.) There are even three kosher restaurants in Passaic--a Chinese restaurant, a deli and a pizza parlor. Traffic in Passaic is light since most residents commute into Manhattan by bus or train. The biggest traffic jam I saw was the abundance of strollers parked outside the synagogue on Simchat Torah (The Joy of the Torah--the celebration of the completion of and the beginning of the “Reading of the Torah.” It was definitely a joyous occasion and entire families were celebrating at the synagogue.)The very best part of my trip was sitting and rocking this new bundle of joy. Heather’s sister, Erin (now known as Auntie Erin,) was able to come from Texas for a long weekend and joined us in Passaic for a family reunion. I don’t think Sarah was ever put down the entire weekend!!!I’m now part of a select group of very important people--Grandmothers. I think it’s the best “club” ever!!!!

Would you like to see their beautiful orthodox wedding? Click this link: Heather and Rob's Wedding.

Join me next week in Lisbon, Portugal for a few days of sightseeing on our way to Porto.

ISRAEL: Jerusalem: Attending an Orthodox Jewish Wedding

My reason for going to Israel was for my daughter's wedding. Heather had been in school in Israel for the past year and was working for an American company with offices in Jerusalem. Heather met Rob Tzall, an American student studying at a nearby Yeshiva (school), and after a short "courtship" they selected Nov. 4 for their wedding date.


Since my travel groups for the year are usually planned 12 to 18 months in advance, I had to "sandwich" Israel in between France and Cuba. The trip was fabulous in every respect and the wedding was definitely the high point.

Even though I am Jewish, and have been to many Jewish weddings, this was my first Orthodox Jewish wedding. It was literally the most enjoyable wedding I have ever attended. The rabbis, with their beards, black coats and wide-brimmed hats may look stern and serious, but a wedding is a joyous occasion and they definitely know how to have a good time - and do they love to dance.


Because neither Rob nor Heather comes from an Orthodox background, they were aware we all needed some guidance and set up a class for both families the morning of the wedding. Daniel, a teacher at the local yeshiva, presided over the class and explained the events that would take place before and during the wedding ceremony. A traditional Jewish wedding is full of meaningful rituals, symbolizing the beauty of the relationship of husband and wife, as well as their obligations to each other and to the Jewish people.

The wedding day is considered the happiest and holiest day in the lives of the bride and groom. As on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish calendar, the bride and groom fast from dawn until the completion of the marriage ceremony.

Jewish tradition likens the couple to a queen and king. The bride is seated on a "throne" to receive her guests while the groom, in a separate room, is surrounded by guests who sing and toast him. Up to this time the bride and groom still have not seen one another. In fact, it is also a tradition for the bride and groom not to see each other for the entire week leading up to the wedding, thereby increasing the anticipation and excitement of the event.



As the ceremony is about to begin, the groom, accompanied by family and friends, enters the room, walks over to his seated bride, and places a veil over her face. The veil symbolizes the idea of modesty and conveys the message that however attractive physical appearances may be, the soul and character of the bride are paramount. It was explained to us in the class that this is an ancient custom and signals the groom's commitment to clothe and protect his wife.



Next, with Rob's mother on one side of Heather, and I on the other, we joined the procession up to the chuppah (canopy), a symbol of the home to be built and shared by the couple.


Once we were all under the chuppah, Heather and I circled Rob seven times. Just as the world was built in seven days, the bride figuratively builds the walls of the couple's new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately.


In Jewish law, a marriage becomes official when the groom gives an object of value to the bride. This is traditionally done with a ring. The ring is made of plain gold, "without blemishes or ornamentation." The groom takes the ring in his hand, and in clear view of two witnesses, declares to his wife, "Behold, you are betrothed unto to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel." According to Jewish law the couple is now considered married, but the ceremony is not over.



Next comes the reading of the ketubah, the marriage contract written in the original Aramaic text. In a Jewish marriage, the groom accepts upon himself various responsibilities, all of which are detailed in the ketubah. His principle obligations are to provide food, shelter and clothing for his wife, and to be attentive to her emotional needs (good luck, Rob!)


The protection of the rights of a Jewish wife is so important that the marriage may not be solemnized until the contract has been completed. The document is signed by two witnesses, and has the standing of a legally binding agreement. The ketubah is the property of the wife and she has access to it throughout their marriage.



Once the ketubah is signed, the rabbi recites seven blessings. Then a glass is placed on the floor, and the groom shatters it with his foot. This is a common tradition for most Jewish weddings, whether Reform, Conservative or Orthodox, and is an expression of sadness at the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem. According to the rabbi, this act identifies the couple with the spiritual and national destiny of the Jewish people. The breaking of the glass concludes the ceremony and everyone shouts "Mazel Tov!" - good fortune.


Then the party begins. I realize that most people may think it strange that at an Orthodox wedding men and women celebrate in separate rooms and do not dance together. It may be unusual to us, but it certainly doesn't curtail the festivities. There was a band and everyone danced and danced and danced for hours.




Periodically someone would come over and take Heather (and the family) over to the groom's side for a special performance - acrobatics, juggling, dancing - it was just like in "Fiddler on the Roof." On the women's side there were also special skits and dancing. As a salute to their circus background, Heather and Erin even juggled.


It was truly a wonderful wedding and was definitely the highlight of our trip to Israel. We all have wonderful memories and, with or without a wedding to attend, I highly recommend you consider a trip to Israel in the near future.

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